Purpose
Recently I came across a quote by Nick Vujicic.
"I don't need arms, I need purpose." I didn't think much of it until just a few days ago.
During a school visit to a university in Switzerland, IHTTI, I met many young aspiring students who shared their stories there. I found out why they went there to study and how good the education actually is over there. However, I did not think much of it until I got back. To be honest, I didn't think much of it until now. Yes, it's getting late, I get it.
What do I really want?
It was a series of events which led to think about this...
1. Night at Switzerland trip.
Late nights are often well linked to confessions and heart-to-heart talks which eventually brought up that question. I can remember no longer what we were all discussing about but suddenly one of them asked, "What would you want in life?" I literally stoned. I had no idea what I wanted.
In the past, I would be able to immediately have a clear mind of what I want and exactly where I would be 10 years down the road. But honestly, I am not very sure now. Yes, I have been carrying this "loser" attitude with me for the past few months. All along, I have been thinking, "船到桥头，自然直。" (the boat will naturally be straight when it reaches the harbor.)
Now that I think about it.. Yes indeed, the boat will naturally be straight but it will not be perfect and as well as if i was to plan ahead and work towards a standard goal. I really need to think about what I really want and work my way there.
2. Examination results.
Though I was expecting to fail most of the modules from the start, it was still a huge disappointment. I must admit that I did not care much about my results from the start. However, it suddenly dawned on me how important it actually is. The people around me all care a lot about their results and suddenly it becomes so clear; results actually play a big part in the future one might have. I have been growing up too comfortably. I need to get out of my comfort zone and start working hard for my future.
I feel so terrible about what I have done to my life. I have living aimlessly for way too long. I have been taking things too easy. I have been wasting too much time, money on other meaningless things. If I was to continue this meaningless path, I am sure I will end up nowhere. I am working in a few hours time and I am still wondering why am I continuing on doing this. Never mind, I shall skip it if I don't feel well. Honestly I have been thinking a lot about the place which I am working at...
It's not that I did not put in any effort at work. I go all out whenever I am work but I really don't feel that I'm being appreciated at work. Initially when I was hearing stories about the management there being biased, I was not very sure about it .. or rather, I chose not to believe in it. I told myself that the management is actually quite fair and I just lived on with it because I needed the money. However, now that i think about it.. I really don't feel that I have been valued. A teacher once told me to not trust the hotel's words when they say that they need you, because they actually are just short-of-hand and could find others out there who could easily replace you. Yes, no-one is irreplaceable. The harsh reality keeps setting in. Never mind, I guess I will just survive this holiday with working there and start find a change of environment to work in. I don't like the idea of a work place which don't value much of the staff and rather value more of the way they manage their relationships with their managers or the number of hours they are able to work. Sometimes it doesn't pay off. Maybe it's just my incompetence in the line of service or being a server. But honestly, I don't want to think about it anymore. The more I think about it, the more it sucks. 1 years plus of service and experience in the F & B service line was pretty much enough. I have learnt pretty much and I think that it might be due time that I moved onto other departments. Get out of my comfort zone and try out new stuff. Maybe I shouldn't be working so intensely too and read up on my books, enjoy my student life. I really want to enjoy my student life before I lose it when I officially become a working adult. That isn't very far from now. I have no time to waste. Better start getting my priorities back up. Honestly speaking, I love studying and the feeling of gaining new knowledge each time I enrich myself. It's just that I have been having too much distractions, too many other unnecessary stuff that I need to do. This time I have to be firm.
The thoughts are just getting so messed up in my head. I have to get some rest now.
Shall end this post right now....
I feel so much better after typing all these out.
Would have been better if I have a counsellor like how I used to have during secondary school though.
Have so much thinking to do. I really find the pressing need to sort out my studies. My results have been to disappointing. ):
I need a clear, specific purpose.
"I don't need arms, I need purpose." I didn't think much of it until just a few days ago.
During a school visit to a university in Switzerland, IHTTI, I met many young aspiring students who shared their stories there. I found out why they went there to study and how good the education actually is over there. However, I did not think much of it until I got back. To be honest, I didn't think much of it until now. Yes, it's getting late, I get it.
What do I really want?
It was a series of events which led to think about this...
1. Night at Switzerland trip.
Late nights are often well linked to confessions and heart-to-heart talks which eventually brought up that question. I can remember no longer what we were all discussing about but suddenly one of them asked, "What would you want in life?" I literally stoned. I had no idea what I wanted.
In the past, I would be able to immediately have a clear mind of what I want and exactly where I would be 10 years down the road. But honestly, I am not very sure now. Yes, I have been carrying this "loser" attitude with me for the past few months. All along, I have been thinking, "船到桥头，自然直。" (the boat will naturally be straight when it reaches the harbor.)
Now that I think about it.. Yes indeed, the boat will naturally be straight but it will not be perfect and as well as if i was to plan ahead and work towards a standard goal. I really need to think about what I really want and work my way there.
2. Examination results.
Though I was expecting to fail most of the modules from the start, it was still a huge disappointment. I must admit that I did not care much about my results from the start. However, it suddenly dawned on me how important it actually is. The people around me all care a lot about their results and suddenly it becomes so clear; results actually play a big part in the future one might have. I have been growing up too comfortably. I need to get out of my comfort zone and start working hard for my future.
I feel so terrible about what I have done to my life. I have living aimlessly for way too long. I have been taking things too easy. I have been wasting too much time, money on other meaningless things. If I was to continue this meaningless path, I am sure I will end up nowhere. I am working in a few hours time and I am still wondering why am I continuing on doing this. Never mind, I shall skip it if I don't feel well. Honestly I have been thinking a lot about the place which I am working at...
It's not that I did not put in any effort at work. I go all out whenever I am work but I really don't feel that I'm being appreciated at work. Initially when I was hearing stories about the management there being biased, I was not very sure about it .. or rather, I chose not to believe in it. I told myself that the management is actually quite fair and I just lived on with it because I needed the money. However, now that i think about it.. I really don't feel that I have been valued. A teacher once told me to not trust the hotel's words when they say that they need you, because they actually are just short-of-hand and could find others out there who could easily replace you. Yes, no-one is irreplaceable. The harsh reality keeps setting in. Never mind, I guess I will just survive this holiday with working there and start find a change of environment to work in. I don't like the idea of a work place which don't value much of the staff and rather value more of the way they manage their relationships with their managers or the number of hours they are able to work. Sometimes it doesn't pay off. Maybe it's just my incompetence in the line of service or being a server. But honestly, I don't want to think about it anymore. The more I think about it, the more it sucks. 1 years plus of service and experience in the F & B service line was pretty much enough. I have learnt pretty much and I think that it might be due time that I moved onto other departments. Get out of my comfort zone and try out new stuff. Maybe I shouldn't be working so intensely too and read up on my books, enjoy my student life. I really want to enjoy my student life before I lose it when I officially become a working adult. That isn't very far from now. I have no time to waste. Better start getting my priorities back up. Honestly speaking, I love studying and the feeling of gaining new knowledge each time I enrich myself. It's just that I have been having too much distractions, too many other unnecessary stuff that I need to do. This time I have to be firm.
The thoughts are just getting so messed up in my head. I have to get some rest now.
Shall end this post right now....
I feel so much better after typing all these out.
Would have been better if I have a counsellor like how I used to have during secondary school though.
Have so much thinking to do. I really find the pressing need to sort out my studies. My results have been to disappointing. ):
I need a clear, specific purpose.
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