23 June 2011, I Can't Do It.

Who have thought that someone who is always so hyper and talkative in class will actually be such a quiet person whenever he is all alone? He, who can never take any sensitive remarks from others, will get affected at the slightest matter. I really can take it no more. The pain that torment me every night, I have not an inkling of where does it comes from. All I know is that it is there and it hurts. I’m not that strong. I’m merely putting on a façade every time I go out- and I get better and better at it till it becomes so natural that nobody can really tell when I’m alright or I’m not. I often do reflections and reviews on my day and on my life. They would usually be very depressing in the beginning, but there will always be a consolation type of ending. Today, I am not going to do that. I’m just follow just with the flow.
Initially I have no idea how am I going to start off this review; however, I manage to get it started. This is life- it is always hard to take the first few steps. I know that it’s going to get easier after I cross the few hurdles. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for me. I have no inkling of how to start expressing myself and how to solve problems- when I don’t know what is the problem. Forget it, I can’t do it.